“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Life can be full of uncertainty, or constant reminders that all the hard work, obedience, and faithfulness that you have practiced in your life has gotten you nowhere but a couple of blocks (if that). Sometimes it seems that your efforts are all but good enough. We get caught up in comparing our path to someone else, getting even more frustrated in what we perceive as a lack of progress. Doubting the very gifts that came from Him, accepting defeating thoughts like, “this is all you’ll ever have” or “stop trying and save yourself the embarrassment“. We even go a step further and shred ourselves by limiting what we feel we do not deserve, condemning ourselves because of mistakes/flaws, denying every good thing that comes our way because of the thought that, “I’ve messed up too many times, I don’t deserve this”.
Now, how much more fulfilling would your life be if you reversed that process and accepted the truth that how you thought was completely INSANE! Your mind is a battlefield, and truth be told, so as a man thinketh, so is he. Allowing yourself to be defeated is not the lifestyle that was designed for you, but in order to change your situation you have to change your perspective!
- Get To The Root of It!
You cannot allow yourself to go through life ignoring painful experiences that have hindered your growth and ability to progress towards a better life. The Black Community has been taught this way for years: sweep it under the rug,we don’t discuss matters like this, we’re not going to worry about it, just act like it never happened. But it is this very mindset that will keep you in a perpetual cycle of harmful actions that will keep away the very things that are wanting to come into your life and bless you. Take time to deal with whatever has hurt you. Acknowledge it. Feel the pain. Understand why it happened. For me, this shed light to why I had certain behavioral patterns that were destructive in creating meaningful relationships with the opposite sex. I literally had to get to the root of it to understand that, ‘Oh! This is why I’m doing this!’ Although it was painful revisiting moments I never wanted to revisit, I immediately began to heal, and the actions that were keeping me from creating those relationships had eventually ended. Understand that you cannot rush this process, but if you truly want better for yourself, you will give it the time it needs to get to the place you need to be.
We damn ourselves to the lowest place of life for things that God Himself forgot about once we repented from that way of life. LET.IT.GO. Now that you understand why that hurt is there, DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP! If God chooses not to acknowledge it, why can’t you? Forgive those people who attributed to the hurt. Understand that hurt people hurt people, and that at the end of the day they need deliverance too just like you. I’m sure if we all look back over our lives thus far, we’ll see that we have unintentionally hurt someone, but to forgive is divine! Truly forgive whoever you need to forgive (including yourself) to move forward to that place where you know you’re destined to be. The only person holding yourself back is you.
- Everything Happens For A Reason!
Now for some, this may be a hard pill to swallow, but really take some time to think about this: If you had not went through what all you went through, would you be the person you are today? There are some painful things in my closet but I am THANKFUL that I went through every bit of it and honestly, I would not omit that from my life experience because everything shaped who I am today. The trick in life is to accept the good with the bad, understanding that just like a diamond, you have to experience pressure, heat, and transformation for the real you to shine through! Looking at life from a spiritual perspective, try to see that everything is connected. If some hardships in your life never came, you would have missed a few valuable lessons, and when you make it through those lessons, you actually see that it was all worth it. From that perspective you realize that those pains push you towards your purpose. Hopefully you can see that those experiences were a blessing, if not for your life, then for you to be of assistance to someone else.
Acknowledge the past. Forgive. Understand everything happens for a reason. Love yourself enough to move on, but understand that all this has to happen in order to have a healthy and meaningful life. So many times we pray for things to come into our life not realizing the work that needs to happen to receive/maintain those blessings. Through Christ, you can do all things. So understanding this, match that with what you’re seeking and ask yourself this question: How bad do you want it?